To Ask or Not To Ask
by Greedling
Summary: Problem: Mustang's subordinates are tired of their boss always on the phone and not doing his share of the work. Solution: Riza Hawkeye -and her legendary bullets- to the rescue! Meaningless Royai drabble :3


Colonel Mustang was on the phone again.

Usually, the team would have just left him to his devices, but this time, it was different. The Scar case have not yet been resolved, and while his subordinates worked overtime almost every night, the colonel himself locked himself in his office and gabbled lightheartedly, to yet another girlfriend, no doubt. The others held a hushed but heated conversation about who out of the four of them was destined to suffer next.

"I can't do it," Fuery protested. "I need to monitor the lines!"

"Look at all this paperwork, Breda," Havoc, slapping a hand to his eyes. "You can't possibly be so cruel!"

"Falman!" Breda barked. The warrant officer jumped up, startled, snapping a messy salute before he realized it was just his colleague. "Go get our dear colonel off the phone."

The man's mouth fell open. He didn't expect to be assigned such a dangerous mission.

"Aw, come on, Heymans," Havoc said, throwing the older man a sympathetic look, "it's his first time in the field. Don't end his career before it even starts!" Falman nodded vigorously in agreement.

"What about you then, Jean," Breda snapped. "I don't see you doing anything substantial."

"We should send Fuery in! He's the smallest one—"

"Hey!" the bespectacled boy cried.

"—and thus the most innocent one. Colonel might kill one of us, but he won't kill a kid," Jean reasoned, lighting another cigarette. "Oh, come on, Kain, are you scared? Are you a scaredy-cat?"

"Fine," Fuery huffed, throwing down his headphones. "I'll get him. And I'll tell him that the country bumpkin who'll die of lung cancer one day was the one who sent me in," he glared at Havoc.

"That's the spirit!" Breda cried, clapping him on the shoulder. "See now, Havoc, this is exactly the type of nerve that you lack!" The straw-haired man sniffed unbelievingly.

"Good luck, my friend," Vato said solemnly. Fuery nodded bravely and marched towards his leader's door. Taking a deep breath, he yanked on the handle. The colonel swiveled towards him, and his small reservoir of courage immediately failed him. A dark eyebrow quirked over the darker eyes, waiting. Fuery opened his mouth, and a squeak came out. The other eyebrow rose to join its fellow, this time in impatient amusement. The terrified sergeant coughed once and managed to get out,

"The second lieutenant told me to get you off the phone—"

He broke off, unable to go any further. Mustang sighed, then hastily reassured whoever on the other side that no, he was not sighing at her, and no, she was not boring in the least way, and yes, she was most vivacious and interesting creature he had ever met. With a small flick of a hand, Fuery was dismissed, and his superior showed no signs of heeding his words. Kain raced out and collapsed on his desk, gasping for breath.

"Well? Is he dead?" Havoc asked after a few moments.

Falman poked the still body experimentally. "Hard to tell."

"He's still breathing," Breda assured them both. "And the colonel's _still_ on the phone."

"What do we do now—?" Havoc grouched. A sharp click echoed from behind him, sending the fine hairs on the back of his neck standing straight up. Lieutenant Hawkeye, who had remained silent all this time, strode forward, holstering a shotgun, loaded and ready to fire. The men quickly made way for her ramrod figure, holding their breaths.

A single shot was fired. Heels clicked smartly together.

"Sir," she said, staring straight ahead. "Do your paperwork, now."

The receiver was set down. A drawer was yanked open. A pen scratched rapidly across some papers. Both eyebrows were down, meekly pressed together.

Their lieutenant shut the door behind her, holding a slightly smoldering gun.

"Back to work, everybody," she said.

They didn't need to be told twice.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I just love the relationship Roy and Riza have :'3 It's so sweet, yet so…severe at the same time.<strong>

**Greedling**


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